I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
organizing the empties. That sober.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
