covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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