I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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