i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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