No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
