i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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