good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
