My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
