well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
