hotel room ftw
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
