Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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