I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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