Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
