I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
