did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
