Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My ass is underappreciated
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
