I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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