So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
