Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize