don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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