You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize