Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
