I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
