dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
A bitchslap is in order.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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