Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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