thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
