My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
