yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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