she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
