The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
