My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
