Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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