There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just had sex on a roof
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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