The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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