So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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