i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
