What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
