how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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