i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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