After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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