Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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