there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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