Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
