Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
