so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
