You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
