Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
