we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
