can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
