i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
