Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
