I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
