i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
