6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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