I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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