It's Friday. Sex?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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