Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
As shirtless as possible
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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