i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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