the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
