someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
